User blog:OmgHAX!/TTS Finale fanfic: The Chaos Inquisition

This time imma write about how I'd imagine TTS would end. In this particular chapter we discuss the "Chaos Inquisition," which is basically the regular inquisition but more... well, Chaotic.

Scene: Imperial Palace, Throne Room
Karamazov: Finally, I shall have my revenge! You think you can make a fool of ME, LORD INQUISITIR KARAMAZOV?! Well, it seems the tables have turned now! With the power of the Fulgerite Blade, you will die, and I WILL BE A GOD!

Magnus: I hate to say I told you so, but...

Emperor: Be quiet. I'm far from finished.

Karamazov: Any last words, my 'father'?

Emperor: Why yes, I do. I couldn't help but notice that compared to your previous job, you are really shoddy as a Chaos Inquisitor.

Karamazov: .... what?

Emperor: I mean, just look at your entourage. You've surrounded yourself with cultists who are at best lukewarm with their devotion to Chaos. That doesn't seem heretical enough, does it?

Karamazov: ... I... we...

Emperor: I mean, what the hell is this? Is that a sorcerer dedicated to Khorne? A bloodthirsty known for using deceit and trickery? Is that a slaaneshi Dark Eldar? That shouldn't even be possible!

Karamazov: ...you do have a point...

Emperor: And what is with you having Fallen and Alpha legionnaires in your retinue? Don't you know that they're all closeted loyalists?

Karamazov: GrrrrrrrrRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! EXTRA HERETICS! YOU ARE ALL EXTRA HERETICS! YOU ARE ALL UNWORTHY TO SERVE CHAOS!

(Karamazov attacks his own forces, cutting a swath through his army and leaving the palace)

Magnus: what... what just happened?

Emperor: it's like that old saying goes: You can take the Inquisitor out of the inquisition, but you can't take the inquisition out of the Inquisitor.

Magnus: That doesn't even make sense. There is no way that should have worked.

Emperor: And there's no way there should be a Chaos Inquisition either, yet here we are. This was just the final phase of my masterful plan to eliminate that nut job and deal a blow against chaos at the same time.

Magnus: Okay, I am calling bullshit. You do NOT get to improvise your way out of trouble and then claim it's all part of your master plan!

Emperor: In a universe where both time and reality break down, is there really a difference between the two?

Magnus: You're just as bad as Tzeentch you know that?

Emperor: At least my shenanigans are cheeky and fun, whereas his shenanigans are cruel and tragic. Now, while that has been taken care of, we still have one more major issue to take care of.

Magnus: Like getting your old body back?

Emperor: Not what I was referring to, though I will get around to it. I'm talking about the Chaos Gods.

Magnus: oh right, that big old super secret plan of yours. I can't wait to see it hilariously backfire.

Emperor: Get ready to eat your words, bookworm, because this time its foolproof.