Crazy Hassan

"'Crazy Hassan here with discount camels! Only slightly used and ready used! Buy it now or I'll kill this goose! Hundreds of miles left in them! I've got small camels, big camels, camels with gas protection, camels with hashish holding capabilities, regular camels, and even camels that can go through snow! Buy three for the price of three!'"Crazy Hassan is a used camel salesman. He is a character that had been created by /tg/ as an eccentric merchant in the style of used car salesmen. He first appeared in Chaos Descends, before appearing in TTS.

Chaos Descends Canon
Hassan is accosted by Smarty and Numbers in the desert, and he attempts to sell them his camels. Uninterested, they threaten him with a knife asking him who's side he's on. Hassan claimed to be on "the highest bidding side," which was currently himself. He had also told them that he had sold camels to the Ultramarines. When they threatened to kill him, Hassan warned them that he would curse their genitalia with the fleas of a thousand camels. The two cultists decided to leave until they stepped outside and found that they were trapped by a massive sandstorm. Hassan offered them free camels if they put up fliers for his business.

TTS Canon
Crazy Hassan appeared on Nocturne attempting to sell camels, but was surprised by the existence of rain and how it wasn't a camel. The Ultramarines are also shown riding camels through the Webway, presumably the same ones bought from Crazy Hassan.