If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device Wiki

"Scones are not fucking bread!!"[1]

Apollo Diomedes is a captain of the Blood Ravens in the Dawn of War games.

Dawn of War[]

Diomedes appears in Dawn of War 2: Retribution. He is second only to Indrick Boreale in terms of meme infamy and over-the-top performance. Unlike the latter, Diomedes survives into Dawn of War 3 as Head Chaplain of the Blood Ravens.

TTS Canon[]

Indrick Boreale and Diomedes are both considered by the Alfa Legion to be their spiritual lieges, due to their high meme potential. Knowing this, both of them were kidnapped by Magnus the Red. When he was done with the Alfa legion, Magnus let Kitten decide what to do with the two Blood Ravens; he suggests that they’d just play Call of Duty, to which they agreed emphatically.[2]

During the trip back to Terra, Diomedes and Boreale were pulled into the Warp along with Magnus and Kitten when the former turned off the ship's Gellar Field during a Warp jump. Diomedes became furious with Magnus and swore at him; in response, Magnus put him in time out by trapping him in a box that looked similar to the same one he was trapped in by the Ultramarines though lacking the blanks.[3]

When they returned to Terra, Boreale and Diomedes tried to keep Kitten and Magnus from arguing. While making sandwiches for Kitten, they argued over whether or not scones were sandwiches, with Boreale insisting they were and Diomedes insisting that they were cakes. Diomedes eventually bashed Boreale in the face with his hammer to get him to shut up.[1]

Diomedes and Boreale would accompany Kitten's shield-host on their mission to Mars to acquire the Proteus Protocol. During Belisarius Cawl's attack on the shield-host, Diomedes was the only one among them to score a hit in on Cawl. Diomedes was then subsequently killed by one of Cawl's Kastellan Robot units, much to the despair of Boreale.


  • Boreale and Diomedes' scone argument is based on a real twitter argument that Alfabusa had with Nostalgia regarding whether or not scones where sandwiches or cakes. The confusion stems from a Swedish 'scone' being a salty hard bun that is served as a savory snack, whereas a regular (British) 'scone' is a lightly sweetened pastry often served with clotted cream and jam, as well as tea and other similar beverages.
    • Which side each participant of this argument would stand on was also decided at this time. [4]