Zak's If the Emperor Had a Text-to-Speech Device is basically my own version of actual one: it's basically If the Emperor had a Text to Speech device: crossover edition(this crossovers Warhammer 40k with Happy Tree Friends, Mario Bros, Sonic the Hedgehog, My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, Digimon, Teen Titans, Pokemon anime, and Kingdom Hearts where while latter 4 are limited to my favorite characters, former 4(non-40k) fandoms are less picky character choices).
more info(also doubles as Application for for voicing it's characters): https://masonicon.deviantart.com/journal/Zak-s-If-the-Emperor-has-a-Text-to-Speech-device-746892036
Title explains it all. The idea struck me immediately when I heard someone refer to Mortarion as "Morty."
On the plague planet, the Primarch of the Death Guard was enjoying some downtime by regaling past exploits over a mug full of toxic sludge.
“....and that's how you beat the Hrud in a ‘stare until horrifying entropy kicks in’ contest,” said Mortarion, and proceeded to chug the last of his slimy beverage.
“That's quite the story, boss!” replied Typhus, who had been Mortarion’s drinking partner for the night.
However, before Mortarion could continue, his vox started ringing. Sighing, he knew who was calling him. “What,” he answered quite bluntly, not even bothering to say hello.
“Uh, hey there son!” A voice gargled over the vox. “Papa Nurgle c…
This one's a little bit different. It's not explicitly set in TTS, but could just as easily be worked in as a side story. Basically, with all these virtual waifus we've got to satisfy ronrey Otaku, you have to wonder: what would the Adeptus Mechanicus do if they found such technology?
Magos Caligulus of the fourteenth Explorator fleet had discovered a treasure trove of acheotech. Progress was slow, however, as the inhabitants spoke an obscure dialect of High Gothic. While they had seen the script before, it was mixed haphazardly with standard Gothic and contained many words with no direct translations.
The planet attracted the Mechanicus' attention, as early reports stated that various new Titan patterns were discovered here. However, what t…
This time imma write about how I'd imagine TTS would end. In this particular chapter we discuss the "Chaos Inquisition," which is basically the regular inquisition but more... well, Chaotic.
Karamazov: Finally, I shall have my revenge! You think you can make a fool of ME, LORD INQUISITIR KARAMAZOV?! Well, it seems the tables have turned now! With the power of the Fulgerite Blade, you will die, and I WILL BE A GOD!
Magnus: I hate to say I told you so, but...
Emperor: Be quiet. I'm far from finished.
Karamazov: Any last words, my 'father'?
Emperor: Why yes, I do. I couldn't help but notice that compared to your previous job, you are really shoddy as a Chaos Inquisitor.
Karamazov: .... what?
Emperor: I mean, just look at your entourage. You've surro…
I know many of you are sad with Dominique's departure from the show. However, I do think I've found a way to bring him back, as I was inspired by an offhandedly quip of how Alfabusa planned on killing of major characters should their VA leave the crew.
(karamazov is still quite drunk)
Karamazov: Ugh... it feels like I'm never getting out of here, especially with this rancid corpse I can't seem to get rid of.
(Dominique starts stirring)
Karamazov: SssssssssSHIT it's a plague zombie!
(Dominique yanks mug off of head, looks completely different)
Dominique: That was the best kegger I've been to in weeks! ...wait... why is my voice higher pitched? And I've got hair again... and boobs. hey Fyodor, did you get me plastic surgery whil…
Alfabusa said on twitter that he doesn't know how to write the Tau into TTS. Well, I gave it some thought, and I remembered that there's a little known fact that one of the Tau's member races is a race of brainworms called the Nagi . So I decided to run with that idea.
(Aun’O is giving a rousing speech to the Tau)
Aun’O: And so, my brothers, we serve the Greater Good, and by our efforts, we shall save the galaxy from the hate and ignorance of the Gue’la. Go, and fight for the Tau!
Tau: *raises hand*
Aun’O: Yes, brother Shas’O Fap?
Tau: Can we have mating season when this is over?
Aun’O: *sighs* Yes, you can have mating season.
Tau: *starts cheering, interrupted*
Gue’vesa: Wait, does this mean we can have our balls back?
Tau & Gue’vesa…