If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device Wiki
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ChildrensCardGame

Kitten deploying his trusty sidekick, Wind-Up Kitten

Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker is the name given in the 41st millenium to Yu-Gi-Oh, and is the card game of choice for both The Emperor and Tzeentch. Other known players are Kitten, Cegorach, The Deceiver, and Creed. Because of its overly long name, it sometimes simply referred to as "a Children's Card Game." Both The Emperor and Tzeentch can pull opponents into the Warp and host an "Ultra-Game," where the loser is exiled to Ultramar.[1]

Player Decks

  • The Emperor uses an overpowered and highly optimized deck that allows him to maximize buffs on his first turn. He even possesses one of the Egyptian God cards, the Winged Dragon of Ra, or as he calls it, "Mega Ultra Chicken." However, he is able to mutate it into an even more powerful monster that highly resembles Sanguinius, called "The Winged Warrior of Terra". This deck build comes at the cost of most of his lifepoints, which makes him easy to defeat if one can counter his various buffs and spell cards.[1]
  • Kitten uses a fairly mundane deck of cards with various defensive spells and average monsters. Most, if not all of his monsters are cat-themed. He is able to defeat both Tzeentch and The Emperor by reversing their overpowered spells and attacking them conventionally.[1][2]
  • Tzeentch's deck is almost entirely spell and trap cards, with only one monster, and virtually all of them are banned from tournament lists. His strategy is to dispose most of his cards in the graveyard in order to power up Magical Explosion, killing the enemy player outright without needing to use monsters. Tzeentch claims that he's able to plan for every possibility, but in reality he can read his opponent's thoughts and simply counters whatever they have in their hand. He is defeated when Kitten is able to pull Magic Explosion off the field long enough to send his cat monsters to defeat Tzeentch.[2]

Trivia

  • Alfabusa has suggested that the real reason that Kitten is winning every duel is because he's using a deck based on the anime and not the real world card game. This was pointed out with how he uses the anime version of Rescue Cat.
    • Even in the anime, Mystical Space Typhoon does not actually negate the activation of the destroyed card unless it's a continuous spell or trap or field spell and it doesn't have a trigger or ignition effect, this is a common misconception among people who don't actually read the card's effect when playing it. This means Kitten only beat Tzeentch by no one actually properly knowing the rules.
  • Many of the jokes, including referring to the game as “a Children’s Card Game,” are derived from the show Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged .
  • The game's name is a mixture of various other board-games, among them is 'Vostroyan Roulette'. Vostroya is a planet in Segmentum Obscurus with an aesthetic based on 18th century Russia, as such Vostroyan Roulette can be seen as the 40k equivalent of Russian Roulette.

References

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