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Little Kitten
"I am demonstrating to you the TRUE POWER OF THE IMPERIUM, THROUGH THE USE OF SMALL FLUFFY ANIMALS!" "Little Kitten" (also known as just Kitten) is the nickname of the Captain-General of the -
The Fabulous Custodes
The Fabulous Custodes are three members of the Adeptus Custodes that have completely lost their sanity and frequently harass Kitten. As Companions, the Fabulous Custodes served with the Emperor during the Great Crusade and Horus -
Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth-Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker
Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker is the name given in the 41st millennium to Yu-Gi-Oh!, and is the card game of choice for both The Emperor and Tzeentch -
Santodes
"FINALLY. MY THERMIC REACTOR IS PULSATING WITH EXCITEMEEEEEEEEEEENT!" Santodes is a Dreadnought of the Adeptus Custodes. -
If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device Wiki
This wiki is centered on Alfabusa's Warhammer 40,000 parody series If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device. This wiki helps keep track of the show and where it intersects and deviates -
Characters List
There are many characters in If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device. Here they are listed by affiliation; official canon characters are listed separately from characters original to TTS. Imperium of Man[] The -
The Emperor
"ABOUT FUCKING TIME. I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO COMPLAIN ABOUT." The Emperor of Mankind (formerly known as the Holy God-Emperor of Mankind, now the Manly Man-Emperor of Mankind) is the eponymous -
Magnus the Red
"I DID IT! I am the mightiest psyker in the galaxy! I am the STRONGEST! Suck it Leman, you furry fuck!" Magnus the Red is the Primarch of the Thousand Sons, and fifteenth son -
Rogal Dorn
"Father, are you familiar with the expression'you are what you eat'? Seeing as you are behaving like an ever-growing pile of screaming psychic children." Rogal Dorn, also known as Lord Adorable, Dadorable -
Kaldor Draigo
"Greeterlings. That is a good-looking beard you have there sir! I too have a beard. It is full of tiny men. Please... KILL THEM ALL!!" Kaldor Draigo is the Supreme Grand Master of -
Urist Boatmurdered
"I HAVE ESCAPED THE CLUTCHES OF HELL TO CRUSH TO PASTE WHATEVER FOUL FHAKKEN ELVES THAT STEPS IN MY PATH" Urist Boatmurdered is a dwarf from the Warhammer Fantasy universe that originated in Karl -
Ollanius Pius
Ollanius Pius was a soldier who sacrificed himself to save the Emperor in his final duel with Horus. He has since faded into legend and has become a patron saint of the Imperial Guard. There -
Commander Shadowsun
Commander Shadowsun is a leader of the Tau Fire Warriors. Named O'Shasera, Shadowsun was a student of Commander Puretide much like Commander Farsight was. Both fought together in the Damocles Crusade, but when the -
WarHams
More information can be found here at the dedicated WarHams wiki. Yes, we’re spinning off wikis now. Blame Alfa. WarHams is a spinoff show of If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device -
Space Marines
Space Marines (also known as Adeptus Astartes) are genetically engineered super-soldiers who serve the Imperium of Man. They are each descended from one of the original twenty Primarchs, and are organized into chapters of -
Vulkan
"I have returned to bring peace and friendship throughout the Imperium, no matter what the voices in my head say!" Vulkan is the Primarch of the Salamanders, and eighteenth son of the Emperor. Vulkan -
Corvus Corax
"WANTING TO GO OUTSIDE WAS A TERRIBLE IDEA. THE BOX DOES NOT JUDGE. IT JUST HATES." Corvus Corax is the Primarch of the Raven Guard, and nineteenth son of the Emperor. He can be -
Fyodor Karamazov
"We are in the Warp... the realm of Chaos!? HERESY! HERESY EVERYWHERE!" Fyodor Karamazov was a Lord Inquisitor, and one of the antagonists of If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device. He -
Leman Russ
"I mean, for Helvete's sake, it looks like you haven't fought or fucked anything for decades, you MILKSOP. Have ye no wolves?!" Leman Russ is the Primarch of the Space Wolves, and -
Roboute Guilliman
Roboute Guilliman is the Primarch of the Ultramarines, and the thirteenth son of the Emperor. Of all the loyalist primarchs, Guilliman is the only one whose current whereabouts in official canon are known. Roboute Guilliman -
Eldar
Eldar (known as Aeldari in their language) are an ancient Xenos race that predates humanity and Chaos. They are all psychically active and have some of the most advanced technology in the galaxy. After the -
Chaos Space Marines
Chaos Space Marines, also known as the Traitor Legions, are Space Marines who betrayed the Imperium of Man to join Chaos. Most come from the Legions who sided with Horus during the Horus Heresy, though -
If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device
If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device ( sometimes simply referred to as TTS) is a Youtube series created by Alfabusa as a parody of the Warhammer 40,000 franchise. The premise of the -
Kryptman
"My opinion IS; straight-laced, self-strangulating sheeplings slapping heresy on anything even halfway logical is what brought us into this mess in the first place. Maybe taking two seconds to consider options that -
Sanguinius
“HUNGRY FOR BURGER. HERETIC BURGER.” Sanguinius was the Primarch of the Blood Angels, and ninth son of the Emperor.
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