If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device Wiki
If The Emperor Had a Text-To-Speech Device Wiki

The Tempestus Scions are a group of Imperial Guard stormtroopers attached to the Inquisition’s forces under Fyodor Karamazov. The squad is lead by Tempestor Cromwell, and it’s members are Scion Priestly, Scion Matilda, Scion Grant, Scion Stuart, and Scion Valentine. Each Scion has a distinct personality and usually speaks in a cockney accent. They also each have colored helmets, with the exception of Cromwell who does not wear one.[1]

Despite probably being the least powerful individuals in the army of Fyodor, they were pretty much almost the only survivors after the battle, apparently granting the victory during the tabletop game by being still alive at the end.

They are also among the funniest soldiers, being basically regular humans (although well trained and equipped) among demons and demi gods fighting each others.


  • Tempestor Cromwell: The commander of this platoon of scions. Despite being in charge, his battlefield awareness seems to be sub-par, claiming that the best position to be at the start of a battle is directly in a bombardment of Nurglite blight drones. He does, however, care for his troops and knows when to retreat.
  • Scion Stuart: Wears a blue helmet. The first one to see the Chaos Undivided army approaching, he is almost always scared, seeming to realize just how out-matched and out of their depth the Inquisition is.
  • Scion Priestly: Wears a yellow helmet. A very confident soldier, he drinks the tears of the daemons as they attempt to get past the Taurox roadblock. Also quite fatherly, endearingly calling Stuart 'my son,' which is likely not literal.
  • Scion Matilda: Wears a yellow helmet and is the only named female soldier in the platoon. Matilda seems to remain optimistic and upbeat, no matter how terrible things are going, either pointing out the upsides or making a quick quip.
  • Scion Valentine: Wears a red helmet. Seems to be concerned for others' safety and shouts for them to look out for danger.
  • Scion Grant: Wears a yellow helmet. Acts almost as scared as Stuart, even claiming that he's about to shit his pants as Skarbrand is approaching, but acts far more professional and dignified.


  • Each name is a reference to a WWII era tank, either British-made or the British designation of American tanks.


Party of the Bearded Triumvirate
Fyrodor Karamazov/The Fyodperor - Leman Russ - Kaldor Draigo
Inquisitor Donklas - Inquisitor Adrielle Quist - Grand Master Elirush - Inquisitor Headsmash - Obiwan Sherlock Clousseau
Kryptman - Calato - Wilford - Tempestus Scions - Canoness Albia Thorne - Dominique